It's Christmas and I'd already told you I never really celebrated it, but as it happened I did know how to make the Christmas dessert that you'd liked. You whistled Dixie sarcastically and I said I didn't know how to whistle either. You let out a pained laugh and told me to please stop crying for fuck's sake. I replied that the new mascara I got was smudge-proof and water-resistant so I'd be free to put that to test. You said that wasn't the point of this conversation. I didn't know what else to say to you at this stage. You looked like a trash panda that hadn't slept for a century. I said maybe you should get off 4chan and stop acting like a pedophile. You reacted as if you were offended but we both knew it was actually kind of hilarious in a not so funny way.
If there was anything left to say between us it wouldn't be for public viewing but it would be your choice entirely. So there you have it, I hope it was $500USD well spent you sick motherfucker. Merry fucking Christmas and see you in hell, love.
*****
